H.I.T. Man: Human in Training.
Cring takes a comical look at the fear of being ignorant—which often makes us look dumb.

TRANSCRIPT

H.I.T. Man

It’s time for a test. And not of the Emergency Broadcast System.
BOOOOOh BOOOOOh BOOOOOh BOOOOh (How do they hold their breath that long?)
This is different. Actually, this is fascinating. Here’s the test: Show me a way to tell people they’re not smart without offending them.

Of course, you immediately have to get rid of “retard.” If you say “retard,” you’ll be standing in front of a bunch of microphones apologizing.

You also can’t say, “Did you have a brain injury?” because…you know. Maybe they did.
The same thing would apply with, “Half a brain?” Once again, there could be a surgical explanation which would leave you looking ridiculous.
So let’s go conventional. How about “dumb?” Normally if you say dumb, you’d better be prepared to fight, not agree.

“Stupid.” Oh, my God. That’ll raise the hackles on a librarian. (What are hackles? Of course, for most people under the age of twenty, what is a librarian?)
How about “ignorant?” It’s an innocent word, right? You’re just saying “they’re not aware of particular information.”

There’s a possibility. “You lack information.”

Yes. “I am a mental stud and you are a 98-pound-mind-weakling.”

Well. No good one so far, right?

Even if you try to be generous and say “you’re learning…” it’s nasty. No one wants to “be learning.” It might be okay if it’s your second grade teacher patting you on the head, telling your parents you’re learning, but other than that.

You don’t want to come back from your honeymoon and have people ask your wife, “How was it?” and have her say, “He’s learning!”

On the other hand, we have numerous words to describe intelligence. We don’t even care if they sound insulting.

Smart-alec. Smart-ass. Yes, it seems like every part of me has a graduate degree.

Brilliant. Intuitive.

Of course, intelligent. Genius. Thinker. (You notice, when Rodin was making his statue, he did name it “The Thinker” instead of “The Learner.”)

We don’t like to think. But we all know there’s a danger of being a know-it-all.

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No one wants to be ignorant. It’s the toss-up comment we throw off at someone who may be sleeping with their daughter, fights hound-dogs in the backfield for bets and profit, and still thinks that Richard Nixon got a bum deal.

How can we describe, characterize and admit the need that exists in all of us–to continue to receive knowledge without fear of being cast into some sort of role as a “know nothing.”

I am a H.I.T. Man.

Maybe you’re a H.I.T. Woman.

I’m loaded. I’m ready. I have all my paraphernalia. I am nearly to the point that I can spell paraphernalia. Wait. I lied. I just looked it up.

But I have an explosive notion that I am a H.I.T. man. H-I-T. Human In Training.

Just as we’ve discussed so far, nobody wants to be ignorant, nobody wants to be dumb, nobody even wants to be learning.

We’re not building any flexibility in our society. We’re digging post holes, knowing we can come back in fifty years and they’ll still be there.

“Now, where did Old Ben bury himself in thought? I know Aunt Mary’s over there on the top of the hill, thinking she’s closer to Jesus…”

I am a Human In Training. So are you. What would be great is if you knew it.

You might look at me and say, “I’m not in training! I’m already human.”

No, you’re not. You haven ‘t figured it out. Don’t be pissed at yourself–just realize that we are strange creatures.

We are filled with the breath of God AND the farts of monkeys. How about that for a mixture?

So when things come out of our mouth they can sometimes sound divine, but generally, when we’re speaking out of our ass, it smells like gorilla.

We’ve got a little bit of the Garden of Eden and a whole lot of the jungles of Africa.

This is why many people believe the human race began in Africa. We are a mixture. It’s a mixture we must understand. That’s why we’re in training.

Really? Everyone should be happy, huh? What if they can’t get there without some help?
Is it really every man for himself, and every woman for her hair products? (I didn’t do that joke. That really wasn’t me.)

Is there really a point in our lives where we think everyone should be happy, or is it kind of fun to have some grouchy people around so we can gossip about them over a dinner.

“What’s with Mike?? Ugh.”
“That Jane–she’s crazy.”

Meanwhile, Mike and Jane play the parts of the crazy people. Is there any chance Mike and Jane could evolve? Do we have more lines for them in the second act? Or do we think that early in the third act they’ll be so crazy they’ll run into traffic and get killed?

So what is it I need to learn? Four things come to mind. Those are the four things that come to my mind on the way to the next eight things, which is the journey to the next fifty-three. But let’s talk about the four:
1. You don’t get smarter by being dumb.
If there’s a little inkle inside of you that you could be wrong, mistaken or needing information, trust it. Be ready to inform those around you of the limits of your ability.
How about a second one?
2. Don’t argue with people so much.
Often you will know immediately that somebody is full of shit or at least filling up quickly.
Don’t challenge them and don’t try to take the knife out of their hand. Make yourself scarce.
Number 3. Yes, THREE. Here are three things you should never be sure of: God, the future or the feelings of another person.
Why? Because truthfully, you don’t know anything about any of those topics. It’s all second-hand information and most of it has come from books.
Just rejoice and shut up.
Number 4: Be kind, and again I say, be kind. What does that mean? Try to leave every human being that you meet with a word of hope.
Not necessarily encouragement. You can’t encourage everybody. But you can hope them a path of revelation.

The only thing that is exceptional about human beings is the fact that we are together on this planet at the same time, which is really cool if we’ll just work together.
I’ve been around pretty people; I’ve been around ugly people. I’ve been around black people, I’ve been around Chinese people. I’ve been around Native Americans.

All of them, in certain moments, are obnoxious and at other moments, absolutely divinely inspired.

If you wish to characterize one group as being more obnoxious, you will really be cutting slack to all the other groups. If you think one group is more generous, you will constantly be hiding the mistakes and flaws of that group from common sight.

There is no one that’s better than anyone else. Some people do better with what they’ve got.

Some people think two is enough and some people think two billion is still not enough.

We have different error, but we have the same soul that was placed in us by our Creator.

I am a H.I.T. man. I am a Human In Training. When asked by people, would you characterize yourself as smart, my response is, “Let me try something and see how it plays out.”

Because “smart” lands somewhere in the realm of cautious confidence, hopeful humility and gracious greatness.

Without the mixture, you’re screwed.

So the good news is, you are a Human In Training–a H.I.T. Man.
And the better news is, if you keep working on it, you will hit your mark.

About Author

Jonathan Cring

Our story is told from where we begin. For Jonathan Richard Cring, this was music. First he sang songs, played songs and then one day it occurred to him that he might like to write one. He actually wrote two that morning and rather enjoyed it. This opened the door to people recording his music, ending up in Nashville, Tennessee, with a contract. Having read a book, he had an itch to write one. The first one was small. It was called "The Gospel According to Common Sense." But fourteen books later, he has accumulated a considerable journal of his journey and heart. In the process, he had four sons and was godfather to three others. One of these young men wanted to be a filmmaker. Scripts were required, so Papa Cring wrote thirteen screenplays which ended up being produced into independent feature-length films which won awards at twenty-eight film festivals. While perusing websites for his movie career, Jonathan discovered blogs. He decided to write one and called it Jonathots Daily Blog. That was in 2008. Thousands and thousands of entries, which extended to additional blog categories--one called Jonathots, Jr.--pictures with euphemisms, and Words from Dic(tionary)--taking the Webster classic in its alphabetical order, and writing mostly comical essays on each word. Sitting around the table at Christmas time, his children encouraged him to begin a podcast. In 2018, he began one called Good News and Better News. It is a content-filled tongue-in-cheek look at American culture with the contention that life really doesn't suck. Bouncing off what has been done while discovering what is available has created the arc of the career for Jonathan Richard Cring.
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