Tipping his hat to Independence Day, Cring takes us on a journey through American history, to discover whether we just got “Declaration”…but no “Independence.”
TRANSCRIPT
The very last thing your ancestors heard as they were about to launch and immigrate to the New World of America: “Get the fuck outta here.”
There was no “bon voyage” party. They weren’t coming over out of curiosity with the option of returning to their lovely digs in Sherwood Forest, having lunch with the Sheriff of Nottingham.
They were broke. They were despised. They were rejected. And many of them were criminals.
It became an issue of whether to stay and be miserable or go and possibly be miserable.
One of those beautiful selections among miseries.
And just in case you got the idea that they came to this country because of religious persecution, keep in mind that the English have trouble getting pissed at ANYONE.
Listen, Pilgrims. What kind of assholes did you have to be to upset the average Englishman or woman?
You know what you were. You were Puritans. You didn’t want to just believe in God. You wanted to stuff your God down everybody’s gullet until they vomited up all the demons of their lust and desire.
And if you didn’t feel that way, your potato crop had just failed, and you were tired of stealing from the local townspeople, and you secured passage so you could sit in a boat for a month and lick your wounds, to arrive in a new land and perhaps subjugate a race of people of your own.
Our forefathers were assholes. They divided into two groups: the Puritans and the renegades.
If you weren’t a Puritan, you were probably a renegade who was running away from either a crime or extreme poverty. If you weren’t a renegade, you were a Puritan, who thought little girls just might be witches.
These are the people who met around a table–56 of them—to sign the Declaration of Independence and begin this new country. And let me tell you—their consciences were bothering them. They KNEW they were bastards. That’s why they asked Thomas Jefferson to write that declaration. He was one of the most idealistic of them all, and they hoped his words might cleanse them of their buffoonery.
Thomas went to the task.
He immediately addressed the evils of the Puritan nature, and the renegade factions by beginning his document with: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.”
Not one goddamn, opium-smoking, snuff-popping, waistcoat-wearing delegate really believed that.
They just knew they should.
They knew it was right.
They were so damn proud of themselves that they knew what was right that they wrote it down.
And then, to this day, have completely ignored it.
The thought was, “If we write it down, someone will come along and credit us for at least being AWARE of what the truth might be.”
Because by the time they founded the Constitution they had already decided to take their renegade side and insist that the black population, individually, was only three-fifths of a person.
And they also had to protect themselves against their Puritanical side by writing the First Amendment, protecting freedom of religion, to guard against their self-righteous selves.
Thomas Jefferson knew slavery was wrong.
George Washington knew.
Patrick Henry was fully aware that the Puritans were gross, overwrought, mean-spirited people who hated everybody who was not them.
The renegades lived in the southern colonies and the Puritans settled in the North.
They knew what was right, but they didn’t do it. Instead, they wrote an eloquent document, hoping that God would have mercy on their souls.
He hasn’t.
We suffer in this country from violence, uncontrolled anger, partisanship, religious intolerance, color barriers, social inequity—all because those fifty-six men promoted an idea which they did not pursue or live out.
We still are not pursuing it.
The United States of America is still divided between Puritans and renegades.
We still have people in this country who believe they have the right to decide the bedroom habits of other travelers, and we certainly have renegades who would jump at the chance to start up slavery again—if it didn’t make them look so damned ignorant.
As they flowed into this country—some Puritan, some renegade—they took on their particular flavors.
They brought their iniquity with them.
Of course we don’t want to talk about it. It’s our family. If Uncle Larry is crazy, we don’t ever talk about his insanity. We find other words.
“Quirky. Sophisticated. A man of the world.”
We have spent so many years making excuses for ourselves and our ancestors, that we feel dirty, defiled and permeated with self-denial.
What would have happened in 1776 if the Puritans had admitted that they were persecuted because they were so intolerant of others?
And the renegades had confessed that they really liked owning black people—but that it was their greatest shame?
How much further along would the Planet be if our forefathers had acted more fatherly instead of reflecting the insanity they brought with them, as they became immigrants?
I suppose you can go through and find a few good ones. But none of them were able to crack the nut. It was too scary. We can’t crack the nut today.
We use freedom of religion to oppress ourselves and others instead of using it to set people free.
The renegade spirit often becomes a weapon to attack the integrity of another race or nationality in an attempt to prove the supremacy of the white race.
When you start out as a mother fucker, some repentance is in your future. Do you follow that?
INSERT FROM WITHIN
Buy Now!
At no time in our history did we repent. We fought. We argued. We narrowly passed bills to confirm what we had already stated in the Declaration of Independence to be true—that all men were created equal.
We talked about the glory of our culture—the heritage of the South and the customs of the North.
Meanwhile, the next group of immigrants to come into the country, as well as the ones coming in today, are arriving with a work ethic, persecuted by evil governments and rarely guilty of the intolerance, rape, murder and thievery of our ancestors.
Now we want an immigration policy.
We might be a little late. The desperados are in the street, and there are five or six generations to back them up.
So what should we think about on this 242nd anniversary of the Declaration of Independence?
I’m going to give you my Bill of Right-On’s:
1. Religion has one purpose—to help people.
Even God says if you can’t help people, you don’t love Him. If religion is intolerant, hurts people or keeps any group segregated, it is not a religion. It is a false manifesto of oppression.
2. We are not a culture. We are a country.
A melting pot. We are all Americans or NONE of us are Americans.
3. You have the right to bear arms if you also are exercising your right to prevent people from killing each other.
4. Freedom of speech is not freedom of screech.
You do not have the right to purposely damage, attack and hurt other human beings simply because you’re having a bad day.
5. We shall do away with political parties.
We will vote for candidates and learn what they believe and trace their values back to the source of their own hearts instead of the platforms of their party.
6. We will develop campaigns, slogans, advertisements and an educational system that mocks racism and prejudice until it is exposed as the “clod” it truly is.
7. We will begin our task by establishing true equality between men and women across the board–from salary to boardroom to bedroom.
8. We will do away with the Electoral College and let our leaders rise solely on the power of the vote.
9. We will cease to divide our nation between Puritans and renegades, but instead, repent of our self-righteousness and cleanse ourselves of foolishness.
10. We will become the new forefathers of this nation so that our children, in 242 years, can sit on July 4th, munching on non-carb, non-fat, non-lethal food, and say, “Shit. Those folks finally got around to doing it right.”
For the good news is, America is not exceptional, but is capable of doing exceptional things.
And the better news is, it’s time for you and I to get the ball rolling.
You must be logged in to post a comment.